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The Dandy

Edward S. Sorenson

Flash Patsy was a shearer’s cook,
And in his culinary nook
    Industrious and able;
But in the mirror he would look
And titivate before he took
    The tucker to the table.

Although he tramped from shed to shed,
Oft burdened like a quadruped
    With fallals, pads and leather,
Spare clothes and sundries, tent and bed,
He kept himself well groomed and fed
    In every kind of weather.

He carried things that were taboo
To other men, like me and you,
    And not the least alluring
Were polishes for boot and shoe,
Perfum’ry and cosmetics, too,
    And sets for manicuring.

He dressed in style for meals, and though
Some cursed and wished him every woe
    From mulligrubs to bunions,
He oiled his hair and waxed his mo,
And brushed his boots before he’d go
    To serve the steak and onions.

At morning, noon and night he chose
To trip around in silken hose,
    But never in a hurry;
And scents of lavender and rose,
That powerfully assailed the nose,
    Went with the rice and curry.

When day was done, and ceased the din
Of pot and pan and pannikin,
    A chef of melodramas
He might have been, as with a grin
He sought his bunk resplendent in
    Red cap and pink pyjamas.

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